Beyond This Limitation

@kikiavicenna


To my old friend Sedna Alain Cassidy,

from Phobos Karl Dracher


I really can't understand why, Sedna, but I need to tell you something. The feeling like this had been going on since we were still classmates in Year 11.

How should I start?

Yes, I can remember when you walked in timidly in your very neat uniform and introduced yourself in front of the class,


    "I'm Sedna Cassidy, a transfer student from Phoenicie. Nice to meet all of you."


I don't know whether it was just a feeling of meeting somebody new or was it... um, let's say crush, my heart skipped a beat when Madame Elaine pointed at an empty chair next to mine and told you to sit there for the day.

Could it be?



I can still remember vividly, Sedna, those moments when we could finally perform a comedy show in front of the class, but afterwards Aphrodite and her gang bullied you. But I was relieved that my songs could stop your tears, and you read out a poem to let go of pressures in your heart.

It was wonderful, Sedna.


And of course, remember when we finally qualified for Year 12? You were so glad that we were together again. I could not say anything, and I still regret why I couldn't just tell you I was even happier when I knew God gave us another year to spend as classmates in 12S1.

And Eithne was in our class too.



Sedna, please understand,

Eithne is my princess, but you're still the empress.


I was the happiest man on earth to listen to your answers whenever I needed to ask you questions, even if it had to be the hardest part of Chemistry. You explained everything clear and through, without forgetting that it was a friend you were talking to. And I was triggered to learn even better when I finally discovered what you think of me,

"Phobos, you're a tough rival, really. I can hardly ever beat you. But this time, I'll try my best!"



Ah, Sedna, why were you so kind to a person like me?

You handed me a ticket to an expo and tryout without even trying to be known. You were willing to care about me even more than Eithne would ever do. Although I could barely say things to you, just short moments or questions in science, you still treated me as a good friend. Why, Sedna?


Then I realized by the end of the year, I was really falling for you.


And I told everything to Madame Amanda. I told her I was struggling for my future, I was in hardship to afford the tuition fee for the new academic year in university, and I was struggling to convey my feelings towards you.

I made Eithne spread gossip about you and me, I wanted you to be jealousy when Eithne, Daryl and Lucia asked me out, I really wanted you to see, Sedna, I've gone beyond the limits of friendship.

But too late.

My relationship with Eithne had become official, by 'pressures' from outside, before you knew. After our graduation, I heard from Lucia, you flew to Harbortown to pursue your childhood passion. You went to enroll for the medical school you've always talked about. I knew you wouldn't be afraid to finish school in seven years, seeing blood and open cuts, or study those thick and boring medical books.

You left me, Sedna, before I could tell you.

Yes, I remember you talked to me on the phone on my birthday, you called me in your vacant times just to say hi. Your messages arrived with joy in my inbox. I was very happy to know you still cared about me.


And this regret has gone unrequited for two years.


Sedna, if you read this story, please understand what I mean...

I've fallen for you, and I'm so sorry for not letting you know.


At least if you've finally read this and understand what I mean, my regret wouldn't be haunting me for the rest of my life...